sleepcamel.net : brad weikel

Since I started work on my Apprenticeship in Teaching (AT) curriculum (which gives me a little annotation on my masters degree), I've been increasingly attentive to the way I engage with course material, both as a student an instructor.

This led me, today, to a rather profound realization about myself. Without being coy, I'll reveal it through examples...

Things that really catch my interest

• Nelson Mandela, and the conditions of South African history that led to the circumstances of his life
• Technological developments related to sustainable development
• Puppies

Things that bore me to death

• The political history of global conflict
• The economics of sustainable development

Ok, those lists are a bit sparse... I'm sure I'll come up with more later.

The point, I guess, is that I discovered a qualitative logic to my preferences: I like precise narratives.

I've always known I was interested in narratives, in some sense, which is why I've always been confused why I'm not more interested in history. What I realized, today, is that it's the precision of certain narratives that interests me, as well as the focus on individuals.

To contextualize: In my econ class we were talking about ethanol. I got excited, and shared my vast anecdotal knowledge about ethanol technology, and began thinking of all sorts of ideas about how to promote consumer use of ethanol (despite my misgivings about it). Then the conversation shifted slightly, to talk about US tariffs on ethanol imports. As I recall, it went like this "The US wants to make blah blah blah." Seriously, my brain shut off.

As far as I can tell, it goes like this: My brain gets excited by understanding things through precision. Through close analysis. Through individuals. But, despite my love of all sorts of abstract mathematical and scientific concepts, when it comes to narratives my brain checks out at the first hint of abstraction.

It's ironic, I think, that I'm unable to get excited about a very precise study of a historical event, which should be right up my alley, because the relatively minor step of abstracting individuals into broad groups completely distracts me.

I see this as well in the way that I think about society. I value and enjoy (and am quite good at) resolving interpersonal conflicts with friends and family. I value local projects that strengthen communities, and I'm fairly attentive to local politics. While I'm even more attentive to national and global politics, however, I also have a sense of apathy and hopelessness... but I'm realizing now that this may be indifference. Again, it is the immediate, precise, tangible experience of individuals that holds my interest.

I guess that's it for now. I thought this would be more profound, but I guess my personal blogging is a bit rusty (although I've been doing a lot of academic blogging over at gnovis). I'll try to get back into this soon.